So Kim Kardashian is officially off the market. Last week she got married to a humongous man named Kris Humphries, which means she now goes by the name of Kim Humphries, we think. We’re not sure what this means for her family’s TV series Keeping up with the Kardashians, perhaps it could be renamed Keeping up with the Kardashians and the Humphries or, more likely, they could just ignore the whole name thing completely. Who knows?

What we do know is, whatever they decide to do with the name, it will quite likely remain inexplicably popular around the world, despite the fact it is based upon a family that only shot to fame for having a daughter that appeared in a sexy video.

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Kim Kardashian...

Seeing as the Kardashians are trying to erase this from everyone's memory, we find it quite odd that Kim, star of said video, decided to make a raunchy music video to accompany her debut single, entitled Jam (Turn It Up). It features Kim crawling around on all-fours, covered in baby oil, wearing pink pants. If it wasn’t for the excruciatingly bad music in the background, it would be one of the best things we’d ever seen.

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Hotpants...

Now, despite having our fingers on the pulse at FHM, we have to admit, we had no idea that K-Hump even had a debut single. The reason for this, we found out, was probably because it failed to make the charts. Yep, even despite being one of the most famous people in the world and having millions of followers on Twitter, Kimmy still couldn’t  convince people to actually buy her music.

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...WIN

However, according to her sister Khloe, Kim never had any aspirations of breaking into the music industry. “The song was for charity; it wasn't for her to have a recording deal…she just wanted to be for herself and for fun…It was never meant to be played publicly.” 

Which video is she talking about, exactly?