Affiliates of PETA, animal rights crusaders and kitten lovers, you may want to look away now. Now that we've got rid of the majority of you, all that should be left are the puppy-drowning sociopaths. Well, an evil audience is better than no audience. So, Kim Kardashian has once again caused reverberations throughout the cosmos by appearing in two separate fur coats in one day while filming for the upcoming reality show, Kourtney and Kim Take New York.
We don't know where Kourtney was. Presumably taking cover as missiles were hurled at an oblivious Kim. Asked why she considered it acceptable to perpetuate systematic annihilation for the purposes of fashion, Kim replied, "I've gone vegetarian to offset my penchant for fur, so I think that more than compensates. And to the critics who chide me and then go home and devour a 14oz steak, you're all a bunch of hippocratic oafs." That's what she should have replied, anyhow.
Your honour, we present Exhibit One. The defendant was spotted wearing the incriminating item of apparel at approximately 11.46am near 42nd and Lexington. She attempted flight, but was quickly apprehended by fortunate coincidence after a group of feral meerkats recognised their own scent and pounced.
And we now display Exhibit Two. After being released on $5 million bail, this picture was taken at 3.42pm in Central Park Zoo. Her inconspicuous appearance would have probably gone unnoticed had she not have sauntered past a lynx, who immediately alerted the authorities that Kim was wearing none other than the outer skin of an old flame of hers. The lynx wasn't too perturbed by this, as it had been a rather abusive relationship, but after seeing Disaster Movi, felt strongly that Kim should be put away so that she'd never again be given the opportunity to act on film.