“I would love to be in a Bond film – a Bond Girl! That would be the ultimate.”

That’s what Kim Kardashian told reporters as she walked into the Screen Actors Guild Awards t’other night.

We presume she’d been asked a question about whether she’d like to do some proper acting and what kind of role she’d want, rather than what she had for dinner last night or what her favourite flavour of Hula Hoops is, otherwise it would have been a bit of an odd thing to say.


"Salt and vinegar, blates"

On the popular entertainment site E! online, some vociferous users have been sharing their carefully considered and infinitely erudite opinions on this potential K-Kard career move.

‘Lisa’ said: “GORILLA FACE BE A BOND GIRL.AIRHEAD”

Hmm, yeah, right. Okay, Lisa. Perhaps you were about to make a good point there. Unfortunately what seems to have happened is that a load of words have just shat their way out of your mouth like a diarrhea diatribe of malevolence.

While someone going under the name ‘James Bond’ added: “Kim is delusional! Her b00ty is too big for James Bond to try to save and too squishy to bang. Gross. James Bond would rather have BETTY WHITE as a Bond Girl.”

We’re not sure that person is the real James Bond. If it is, he’s done that hideous thing of referring to himself in the third person, which automatically invalidates anything else he proffered.

It would appear these people - if such a term int too generous - and the many others like them, have never heard the idiom “If you’ve got nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”.

Kim, you follow your dreams, girl. Leave these hateful wannabe Keith Harris’ to keep telling Orville that he can’t fly way up to the sky. Stupid old Keith never even flapped his wings.

Now watch the video again. Look out for the beardy man checking out Rachel Weisz. It's at about 1:15. "Mmm, she looks nice. Lickity lips."