“I don’t find myself as sexy as everyone thinks I am,” Kim Kardashian told us during our March edition’s exclusive cover shoot (out now, slow coaches). “It sounds silly, but I am really insecure about little things. When I get dressed, I am always so indecisive.”

At the time, mainly because we’d just photographed her in a variety of tiny, two-piece bikinis, FHM struggled to believe Kim’s words. And last night, when she ventured out to the Grammy Awards wearing a split golden dress that ensured approximately 77.3% of her curvaceous flesh was on public display, we were almost certain she was lying. She wasn’t.

”I had the biggest fashion emergency tonight,” she told reporters on the red carpet. “I took it to another tailor and they tailored it to where my whole butt wouldn’t fit in it. I was freaking out and said that if I didn’t have a dress, I wouldn’t go. The designers were amazing, they came in and met me and redid the whole thing.”


'Does my bum look enormous in this?'

Kim we apologise for ever doubting you. And we too would like to thank your ‘amazing’ designer for averting a travesty. We mean, how would the men of the world have entertained themselves today if you hadn’t managed to squeeze your most magnificent ass-et into its golden fortress?

Actually, that’s a good question. How would you have entertained yourself today if you hadn’t have had Kim to look at? Would you have played Scrabble? Or read a book? Or taken up Sepak Takraw? Let us know, and if we print your revelation in the magazine, we’ll send you £25.


Honey I Shrunk the Snake would go straight to DVD