Oooh, doesn't she wear it well? Sorry about that. Occasionally we become possessed by the spirit of Frankie Howerd and there's nothing we can do about it. It's a condition which in the common world would be termed schizophrenia, but we call it having a personality that encompasses a wide spectrum. Anyhow, Kylie Minogue wore this black doily on Wednesday night at the amfAR gala, a men's style event in aid of AIDS research. It's a shame that not many people wear doilies anymore. Before they became known as ornamental mats, the pattern was regularly emulated when making hats, bodices, shoes, and the like. Then, the Great Doily Famine of 1632 occurred, systematically exterminating 98% of doilybugs, the little critters from whom the material is extracted.

Well, she hasn't done badly for someone best known as Dannii Minogue's sister. Or is it the other way round? But wait. There's a third sibling, isn't there? Gary Minogue is his name, we think. He was the one who originally got famous for playing Skippy the bush kangaroo. Yeah, we thought Skippy was a real animal too, but it turns out, just like the recent, devastating news about Big Bird, that it was a creepy old man in a suit all along. Another of our childhood dreams left in tatters. Anyway, here's another one of her being stalked by Chris Moyles.