Lady Gaga was in Paris yesterday, performing in concert and wearing predictably unusual items of clothing. This time she went for sacrilege; a nun’s wimple with an otherwise see-through plastic covering of her body, and two white crosses marked on each nipple, for posterity’s sake. So far, nothing that interesting.

However, Our Lady then decided to step out wearing fishnets and a thong. And it turns out that she’s got a rather nicely sculpted pair of buttocks. Funny, that. Inexplicably, people kept on staring at her, so she apparently responded with “Hey, perverts! I’m a work of art. I hope you’re searching for the metaphor in this.” Indeed they were.

You may put it down to another of her tiresome publicity stunts, but this had one key difference. It was in Paris. The French don’t much understand sarcasm or irony, or not the British mode anyway, and don’t much appreciate art either (see Impressionism), so we assume that the meaning behind this one went straight over their little berets.

Gaga is the first humanoid piece of modern art ever to be constructed for that distinct purpose. You probably didn’t know this, but a rogue, malfunctioning chip (kind of like one from The Manchurian Candidate) was placed inside her head at birth by an African dictator. It was intended that the chip would gain her a position of great power, before divulging all of America’s secrets to the world. But WikiLeaks got there first. Bad luck Mugabe.