Phew. Close one, there. Although the odds of Miranda Kerr suddenly becoming unsexy are pretty slim, let's be honest.

Miranda is, as ever, modelling for Victoria's Secret by looking mind-meltingly hot in some of their lingerie. It's a sound marketing tactic, you know. Far better than trying to advertise your lingerie by photographing it crumpled up on a park bench, sending anonymous samples through the post, or trying to get a dog to wear it.

Miranda Kerr for VS
Dogs have too many nipples to wear human bras anyway

None of those are particularly aesthetically pleasing, although they probably would generate a fair amount of coverage on Twitter. Luckily (for us, anyway) good old VS have stuck to their tried and tested formula of whacking beautiful women in front of a camera and making them look even more beautiful via precise applications of lingerie.

This shoot is called 'Victoria's Secret 2309', which sounds very exciting to the nerd contingent in the office. Have VS finally snapped and made a range of underwear that ties in with the live-action Tekken film, set in 2309? Will the advanced carbon-fibre underwiring allow for unparalleled mobility and defence? Have they released bras and pants in line with the different characters? Does Heihachi Mishima wear french knickers?

Miranda Kerr for VS
They tend to ride up, so that might explain why he's so moody all the time

Well, obviously, no. It's just that they were released on September 23, and they needed a title. Ho hum. We can dream. Instead, we'll have to make do with the gorgeous Miranda Kerr merely wearing good-looking underwear that offers absolutely zero benefits in the brutal world of the King of Iron Fist Tournament.