Kate Upton, as you’re well aware, certainly was very sexy last week when she was milking cows. But the question we have to ask ourselves – the question that’s keeping us awake at night – is this: is she still sexy now? Can we still devote so many man-hours to detailing her activities so you, the general public, can read them? Are we going to have to dismantle the Upton Shrine?
It's taken us MONTHS to consecrate it properly
Well, as you’ve probably inferred from the headline, our shrine is safe for another week. Kate Upton has bucked the trend and, in a wild and unprecedented move, is modelling frilly underwear – this time for a company called Lunaire, although if you really give a damn what company made her bras you might have come to the wrong site.
For all you know we could have just made up the name Lunaire on the spur of the moment – how are you going to find out if we’re telling the truth? You’re just going to have to trust us.
We'd come up with a better name than "Lunaire" if we'd actually made it up. Something like "Kicker-Knocker Glory" probably
Kate is of course looking fantastic in her busty, girl-next-door but girl-next-door-in-America-probably sort of way. The bra itself isn’t tremendously exciting (red? Pfft, seen it before), and crushingly there is but one of it - for a contrasting example, check out the visual cavalcade of Candice Swanepoel’s Halloween costumes - but, importantly, it contains Kate Upton. It could be made out of old hessian sacks or used teabags, and she’d still look incredible in it.
We’re sure you’re as glad as we are to see that she’s still one of the sexiest women alive. Tune in next week to see if she manages to keep it up.*
*SPOILER ALERT: She probably does