Oh, sorry, that’s not “Lindsay Lohan.” Technically it’s just “Lindsay,” after she changed her name by legally sawing off the end of it earlier this year. Our apologies.
“Lindsay,” is hot again, however briefly this spell might last, and Blank magazine (catchy title, fellas) have decided to take some pictures of her to celebrate this fact. Good for them.
If you squint, it looks like Lindsay's only got one tooth on the top row
She’s a curious orange, really. She lives an obnoxiously wild lifestyle, has been arrested for shoplifting, inhales all sorts of contraband substances (allegedly! She allegedly inhales all sorts of contraband substances, please put down the Lawyer stick) and doesn’t really do anything to earn it.
Tony Montana, now, there’s a chap who you can respect even when he’s got a nose full of charlie and he’s wigging out with an assault rifle. He earned that. Lindsay... well, not so much. Plus most of the time, she doesn’t look so hot either, and spends much of her life falling out of cars on camera.
Smoking: more important than putting your dress on properly
But like the planets aligning, once in a while all the elements come together and something special happens with Lindsay, where she becomes ridiculously hot and all of her freeloading wild-girl lifestyle transmutes into a sort of bad-girl appeal. Sort of like turning lead into gold.
Like the British Summer, enjoy it while it lasts. Before you know it autumn will be rolling around, we’ll be wrapping ourselves up in coats and scarves, and Lindsay will be puking and staggering about again, messing up her life and generally being a waste of someone really attractive.