Liz Hurley seems like a lovely lady. Admittedly, we’re basing that chiefly on appearance, but that’s normally a pretty reliable indicator of decency. Not many people look at pictures of Hitler and think “but he looks like such a laugh” or Rose West and say “cor I’d like to take her for a slap-up dinner”. You can't judge a book by it's cover, but you can judge whether someone's a model or a murderer by looking at their face.

Not a murderer

Unfortunately, some journalists (yes, we’re including ourselves in that, you cheeky bugger) are just plain vicious. They can’t look at an attractive lady in a bikini without going “Ergh, look at her weird elbow” or “her boobs are like sooo fake”. Snore. Projecting your own insecurities onto celebrities makes you feel much better about your own miserable existence and unsatisfactory body, does it? Didn’t think so. So why not just give the bitching a rest, eh?

We think you’ll find it’s a lot nicer to look at sexy ladies and say things like, “wow, she’s lovely” or “cripes, she looks great in that”.

Wow, she's lovely

Cripes, she looks great in that


But many journos (shut it, we told you once) disagree. Upon seeing the lovely Liz Hurley looking ravishing in a bikini, their first reaction is to spread rumours about her having had cosmetic surgery on her breasts.

Liz quickly jumped on twitter (remember the days before that was invented – what did celebrities do with themselves all day?) to dispel the wicked lies:

“I read that I've just had breast implants - happy to report (I'm) still au naturel but I do wear exceptionally well cut bikinis.”

What she’s referring to there is the fact she designs her own bikinis. That's clever; well done, Liz. Your reward is another picture of yourself looking hot - who doesn't like those?

If we had breasts - as in girlie ones, not the moobs we've been frantically trying to shed in the gym pre-holiday - we’d buy a Liz-designed bikini. Then we’d parade up and down outside Heat’s offices and wait for some sanctimonious hag to print a photo of us with the caption "should've gone to WeightSavers". 

1/ Livin the dream with Liz Hurley

1/ Sofia Vergara is in the kitchen
2/ Britney: If you can't beat Lady Gaga, join her
3/ Jessica Alba at the Machete premiere