Age: 42 (Phwoar-ty-two, more like! Eh? Eh? Mm? Eh?)
Why she’s a MAM: ever since we first laid eyes on Rachel back in 1999's The Mummy, we’ve been bits-over-tits in love with her.
A show-stopping collision of cut-glass accent, English-rose face, jet-black locks and heaving, heaving bosom, Weisz was the kind of girl who you'd offer to behead a thousand cursed Egyptian zombies for, if only she’d give you a peck on the cheek and a quick flash of her milky-white left bap.
Since then, Weisz has aged like a fine, fancy wine, and continues to set both our hearts and boy-parts a-flutter. She may be married to James Bond these days, but we’re fairly confident that she’d leave him in a heartbeat, if only she'd could see us strut manfully from the sea in our stripy Primark banana-hammock trunks.
Her fanbase: as with most pretty-faced actresses who’ve been in the public eye for more than a decade, Rachel has earned herself a sizeable, staunch and faintly scary set of admirers.
The fansites weiszfan.org and rachelweiszonline.com may be sadly short on obsessive Weisz news right now, but we’re sure things’ll pick up once Rachel returns to cinema screens on August 13 in the eagerly awaited The Bourne Legacy.
Until then, we can all linger stalkerishly over (teensy bit creepy) fan-videos such as this one:
We dare you to disagree: not convinced by our MAMification of Rachel? Reckon there’s a hotter 40-something actress out there? Then let’s hear who and why!