Well, not literally. Tennis Superstar Maria Sharapova doesn’t literally have legs that go on for miles. That would make her a terrifying freak – a monster, even. Like that thing out of Cloverfield but better at tennis. Let’s go with 'Maria Sharapova has very long legs' instead, so to avoid confusion and general distress.
Or another dodgy handicam movie
Maria Sharapova, then, has very long legs. Very long legs indeed. They aren’t the longest legs, of course – that accolade goes to Svetlana Pankratova, who met the world’s shortest man back in 2008 in an effort to throw off perspectives worldwide. Click the link. It’s a tremendous image.
Nor are they the longest legs on a model (is she a model, technically? She's modelled for stuff), an award currently held by the rather sexy Ana Hickmann as they stopped measuring models’ legs back in 2002 and she was the last one to take the title. Poor show, Guinness. Your murky black stouts are top-notch but your record priorities are way out of line.
Start measuring legs again, damnit
Maria was at a pre-Wimbledon event last week when these pictures were taken; the very same pre-Wimbledon event that Eliza Doolittle was at after she battled the vicious Trouser Nazis in a battle that we described in detail (some might say too much detail) yesterday.
As you can see, Maria has similarly fought off the secret police of legwear and - well - not worn trousers, instead opting for a slinky red dress that shows off her tennis-honed pins to their fullest extent. Well done her. That’s a fashion choice we can definitely agree with.