So we’ve already told you about the Marine who asked Mila Kunis to the Marine Corps Ball. And about how we got mad. And about how we were secretly super happy when it turned out she was too busy to actually go with him. It was probably because Mila recognized our dismay at dating another man and penciled us in instead. She’s good like that.

After safely rescuing Mila and transporting her firmly back to ‘available to the common man’ territory, we’ve now been saddled with the responsibility of saving Miley Cyrus from a perfectly pleasant night with a heroic Marine too.

Clearly in need of our help

Private First Class Hart, another smooth-talking, world-saving Marine, has also posted a video online, this time asking all-American teen pop sensation and object of our teeny-bopper dreams Miley Cyrus to accompany him to the ball.

Miley is yet to accept Hart’s offer so we can only assume she’s waiting for someone better to come along. And, by better, we mean us. Because who needs a man in uniform with medals for bravery when you’ve got a fully-stamped Nandos card and fridge full of Red Stripe? We know which one we’d prefer.

Mmm peri peri chicken...

We’re happy for one Marine to keep his date to the ball however. And that’s Sgt Ray Lewis. Following on in what seems to have become a tradition amongst Marines, he posted his own video on YouTube asking actress Betty White to the ball. This is Betty White...

The lady, not the parrot

We're not quite sure Ray understood the game. Oh yeah, she turned him down too. Bad luck Ray, maybe we'll let you share Mila and Miley if you let us borrow your tank.