Marion Cotillard is a very sexy, Oscar-winning French actress. Accordingly, she puts only black coffee and red wine in her mouth and turns it into freshly distilled Chanel No. 5 that secretes, in quantities appropriate to the grandeur of the occasion, from her neck. She knows exactly what jewellery to wear with what dress. She’s got a great handle on eyeliner. And she’s really good at smoking.
Here she is attending the Paris premiere of her new film Les Petits Mouchoirs, which translates as ‘Little Handkerchiefs’, probably because it’s all about middle-aged French people having selfish, genetically inherent existential crises even though their best mate’s in hospital in a coma because he fell off a scooter. And that’s no punt readers. That’s the plot. Here’s the video. The trailer. Here's the trailer:
Oh come one! It doesn't look that bad, Marion. Look, whatever happens, you'll always have FHM.com readers who love you. We know that, because whenever we’ve shown them pictures of Marion Cotillard being pretty much perfect, video of Marion Cotillard advertising little fake tits you stick on your forehead, or the sort of .jpegs you’d print off and use as wallpaper in your own home if only your girlfriend would let you, they absolutely love it. Now, can we get a smile? PUH-LEASE?
Très bon. Now gizza twirl.