Marisa Miller, voted the sexiest woman in the world in 2010 by readers of all 24 editions of FHM, is promoting Captain Morgan rum. As you can see there’s sort of a pirate, shipwrecked theme going on because pirates drink rum and so do people who are shipwrecked. Look:

Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

The mate was fixed by the bosun's pike
The bosun brained with a marlinspike
And cookey's throat was marked belike
It had been gripped by fingers ten;
And there they lay, all good dead men
Like break o'day in a boozing ken
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Fifteen men of the whole ship's list
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist!
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

The skipper lay with his nob in gore
Where the scullion's axe his cheek had shore
And the scullion he was stabbed times four
And there they lay, and the soggy skies
Dripped down in up-staring eyes
In murk sunset and foul sunrise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Fifteen men of 'em stiff and stark
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

Ten of the crew had the murder mark!
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

'Twas a cutlass swipe or an ounce of lead
Or a yawing hole in a battered head
And the scuppers' glut with a rotting red
And there they lay, aye, damn my eyes
Looking up at paradise
All souls bound just contrawise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

Fifteen men of 'em good and true
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

Ev'ry man jack could ha' sailed with Old Pew,
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

See.

Question: on the popular Radio 4 programme Desert Island Discs, how many people have chosen rum as one of the luxuries they’d take to a desert island? Answer: dunno.

We met 32-year-old Victoria’s Secret, Sports Illustrated model and all round American lady Marisa Miller recently. We told her all about how England isn’t nearly as cold a country as everyone thinks it is and she seemed fairly unconvinced. Then we told her that it never snows on Christmas Day over here and she seemed sad for us. Then we told her about when it snows in this country the whole transport infrastructure collapses because we’re incapable of dealing with any kind of extreme weather and she thought it was very amusing indeed. She told us about living in California and how it was really very pleasant because it hardly ever gets cold. Then we did an actual interview.

As you can see, we had a great time together.