Turns out there’s this thing called the National Soap Awards that’s held every year on our fair isle. And this year, Corrie’s sexpot Michelle Keegan went along because she’s been awarded “Sexiest Female” for the third year running. 

That’s right – in 2009, 2010 AND 2011 the title’s gone to Michelle. On one hand, yeah, fair enough. We can see what they mean. We can’t immediately think of anyone better looking in a soap opera. And, just to get this straight, we are in no way complaining about her winning the title.

Michelle Keegan looks gorgeous as ever at the 2011 Soap Awards
Not in any way complaining

But on the other hand – the more indignant hand that’s being waved around in the air as if to make some sort of point – is that there’s clearly a dearth of potential Sexiest Women in the genre. Even Hollyoaks has gone downhill a bit recently.

So we’d like to start a movement, in the interests of healthy competition and more beautiful women on TV. Our message is simple and straightforward:

“Beautiful women of Great Britain! We find ourselves in times of scarcity, and we need your help. You must audition for soaps. Any roles, any programme, any channel. Too long have we endured this struggle! Go! Audition, audition, audition!”

Michelle Keegan looks gorgeous as ever at the 2011 Soap Awards
Alien's disguise was a bit poor

Phew. Came over a bit Churchillian there. Hopefully it’ll pass soon. And really, don’t get us wrong – we love Michelle (she was even on the cover back in January, you should click on that and watch the video) and wish her every success, but we can’t have her becoming complacent.

So go. Tell your beautiful women friends. Spread the message! Let’s make soaps beautiful.