In Dublin’s fair city, where the girls are so pretty, I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone. As she wheeled her wheelbarrow, through streets broad and narrow, crying cockles and mussels alive, alive o! Alive, alive o!, alive, alive o!, crying cockles and mussels alive, alive o!.

Molly Malone wasn’t in Dublin this weekend, but Michelle Keegan was. The Coronation Street sexpot jetted over to attend the Irish Film and Television Awards, where she won nothing and was forced to applaud politely, while Bosnian War drama As If I Am Not There bagged three gongs and Amy Huberman (below and Mrs Brian O’Driscoll, fact fans) was named Best Irish Actress.

Amy Huberman: good actress, crap weightlifter

Wow. Downer. It was, but, ever the trooper, Michelle smiled though it, before going on an unbelievable 13-hour Guinness bender, which ended up with her being forcibly ejected from the Arlington Hotel after invading the stage following a drinking game.

Okay, technically this wasn’t Michelle. It was FHM the last time we were in Dublin. Other memorable things to happen during that trip? We discovered Kopparberg Mixed Fruit and our Dad proposed. Not to us, sicko, he just happened to be there at the same time.

Icicle clung desperately to her ear

Fortunately no-one has proposed to 23-year-old Michelle yet, although the TV barmaid, who came 30th in last year’s FHM 100 Sexiest Women in the World poll, has been dating Max George from The Wanted since December.

Blue Clipboard went in for a hug

Wow. Downer. It really is, isn’t it? But, ever the troopers, we’re going to smile through it, before going on a 11-hour Michelle Keegan Google search bender, which ends with us remembering that we had her in a bubble bath way before she even knew Max existed.

Sure it looked sexy, but frostbite would claim three of her fingers