What’s not to like about Miley Cyrus? Hot, young, fresh-faced and wealthy, but with a penchant for soft drugs and a bad-ass tattoo under her left breast. Plus, according to her cover of a Joan Jett song in her recent concert at the Jockey Club in Paraguay she loves Rock and Roll.

Well, maybe that was just part of the song. We reckon she must, at the very least, enjoy Rock and Roll just a little bit. Or she wouldn’t have bothered singing it.

Miley’s preferences on rock and roll aside, however, she’s definitely moved into the scandalous arc of teeny-bopper stardom. She rocked up on stage wearing some sort of leather suspender arrangement and, well, not a lot else aside from a glittery bra and a largely superfluous jacket.

Miley Cyrus getting sexy onstage in Paraguay
See? That jacket is redundant

As we said, scandalous. We can imagine monocles popping out and ladies having to be rested upon delicate chaise longues at the very sight of it. Indeed, perhaps the smell salts would have to be broken out and wafted under the noses of the afflicted.

We’re entirely down with this, and we’re allowed to say that now that Miley’s 18. God, trust us, it’s been a struggle. Like that Taylor Momsen girl, you can’t really think anything too pervy (although, hey, it’s only.... nine or so years between us, that’s not so bad, right? Right? Yeah, you’re right, it is, sorry) until they hit 18, and then it’s magically alright to say whatever you want.

So, here we go – we quite fancy Miley Cyrus. Phew. Glad that’s off our chests. We probably won’t be able to get off with her, though, on account of her living in America and us being largely shiftless dullards, so we’ll have to make do with this shaky hand-cam video of the concert, below. Oh, and the sex doll.

Yeah, they’ve already released a sex doll and called it “Finally Miley.” It has “three achey love holes.” That phrase is enough to put us off the thought of sex for a while, to be honest. Ugh. See you tomorrow, we’ll be scrubbing ourselves clean in the bathroom.