Natalie Portman. Now there’s a woman. All small and talented and pretty and funny. Doing things like getting her thonged bottom out at the one minute and twenty four seconds mark in the trailer for the film Your Highness. Good trailer too, even the bits without Natalie Portman’s bottom in. The film’s directed by David Gordon Green, who directed Pineapple Express, and stars Zooey Deschanel as well as James Franco, Danny McBride and Justin Theroux. Stellar. Stellar. Stellar. Stellar.

Your Highness isn’t out until June 2011 though, so your next opportunity to get Natalie Portman in your life will be the film Black Swan, which is directed and Darren Aronofsky and is totally excellent. Portman plays a ballet dancer who gets cast to play the lead role in a production of Swan Lake, and the film follows her psychological meltdown as she battles with the pressures of staying at the top of her dancing game while fighting off the attentions of a jealous co-star (Mila Kunis), an over-the-hill rival (Winona Ryder), an overly attentive mother (Barbara Hershey) and a randy production director (Vincent Cassell).

It’s totally excellent. Although you will have to put up with seeing Natalie Portman rip skin off her own fingers and have her toes melded together BUT ONLY IN HER MIND by the sheer bloody drama of it all. Think of it like this: The Wrestler, but about ballet, that features a scene where Natalie Portman have a really great time together and have at least one orgasm between them.