It’s a funny old thing X-Factor isn’t it? Every year we try and keep our distance, but by Boot Camp we find ourselves slack-jawed and glassy-eyed in front of the telly on a Saturday night, ignoring our mobile as our mates desperately try and find out if we want a pint, or are still breathing.

Being famous enough for people to want pictures of your arse. That's mind blowing that is.

Unfortunately for us, Simon Cowell’s strategic invasion of our leisure time seems to be continuing in a grand old fashion. Next week sees the beginning of X-Factor USA with Simon back in his full high-waisted glory along with fellow judges Paula Abdul, some dude called L.A. Reid, Nicole Scherzinger and no Cheryl Cole. Poor love.

My. Endless. Looove

Last night saw the premiere of the new show and all the judges, (except Cheryl, poor love) did a nice walk down the red carpet in their glitziest clothes. Paula and Nicole, who were both looking exceedingly lovely, even made out with each other! ‘Made out’ might be a slight exaggeration; ‘shared a socially acceptable kiss on the cheek’ would be more accurate. It’s not as exciting, but hey, we’re a hard-hitting news outlet, here to bring you the facts. They did both look lovely though.

You win Simon, you win.