Nicole Scherzinger is sexy. You don’t need us to tell you that – you’ve got eyes, after all. How else would you understand this text? What? You’re using a text-to-speech reader or braille printer because your eyes were damaged in an outlandish sunglasses-related accident where someone swapped out the UV-reactive protective lenses for the bottoms of coke bottles?


Oh. Sorry. Well, in that case, maybe you do need us to tell you that Nicole Scherzinger is sexy. There are some pictures of her here which we’re sure you’d love if you still had the use of your eyes. They’re cracking.

She looks fantastic – tight dress, nice hair, the works. Top-notch fair for people with full or even partial use of their eyes. They show the slender dark-skinned beauty on a show called Fuse Top 20 Countdown, which is broadcast in America so we have no real idea what it’s about.

Apparently 20 videos are broadcast (not the Top 20, you understand, just 20 videos that people at Fuse like) and someone famous and music-orientated is interviewed between them by the actually very attractive host Juliya Chernetsky, if for some reason the bright colours and loud noises inherent in music videos can’t hold your attention.

Nicole Scherzinger is, of course, both famous and music-orientated, a fact which we’re sure you’re well aware of. What’s that? You’ve never heard her music due to a catastrophic misadventure at a Papa Roach concert where you fell asleep on a speaker, deafening you for life?

Well, firstly, our deepest sympathies on the loss of both of your sight and hearing. And secondly, in regards to Nicole Scherzinger’s musical stylings, you really haven’t missed a lot.