Fooled you! Nicole Scherzinger didn’t really win a cleavage contest. Not because she wouldn’t, obviously, but because there is no such thing. Actually, hold that thought…

…Having just Googled ‘cleavage contest’, we can now exclusively reveal that the Florida Renaissance Festival holds a ‘bodacious bodice’ contest every year, and that ‘bodacious bodice’ is essentially olde worlde lingo for ‘cleavage contest’. Nicole Scherzinger has never won this contest, which kind of ruins our headline, but we’re going to press on regardless.

Last weekend, FHM's February cover star ventured out to the Ciroc Vodka, OK! Magazine & Step Up Women’s Network of Music Celebration wearing a dress that accentuated her already impressive bust. A photographer duly took a photograph of said extra impressive bust and uploaded it onto the internet. We then downloaded the image and published it for your pleasure. The MBE’s got to be in the post, right?

And talking of MBEs, Nicole’s fella Lewis has got one. The Queen awarded the motor racing superstar the honour after he won the F1 Driver’s Championship in 2008.

Lewis didn’t win the F1 Driver’s Championship in 2010, but he did recently win another monumental sporting event. And that monumental sporting event was a 20m sprint along the runway of an abandoned Munich Airport (the city where he met Nicole, fact fans). His opponent that day? FHM. We visited his secret winter training camp and you can read all about it in our April issue, out early next month.

What’s that? What else is in the issue? That would be telling, but let’s just say Kelly Brook + desert = sensational shoot.

Crucifix dressed to the left