At the weekend, in between the barbecues and the ice creams and the 'what the hell is going on, how can it be this hot in October?', we caught a few minutes of The X Factor. There were A LOT of tears.

Seriously, it’s no wonder none of these walking bundles of salty emotion have “made it” yet considering they break down every time someone asks them a rudimentary question. We’d be astonished if they could land any job at all.

Pixie Lott Lipsy
Two Pixies are better than one

“Hello person with slightly unconventional name hinting at a bohemian upbringing, what makes you want to work at Greggs?”

“Oh God, I just want it so bad. *Starts sobbing* It means everything to me. My Great Grandma, *pauses, looks upwards, takes deep breath*, she once ate a Cornish pasty, and even though it wasn’t actually from Greggs and rumour has it she didn’t particularly enjoy it so never had another one, I just want to do this for her. I just want to make her proud. It’s always been my dream, ever since I can remember. Well, ever since my dad saw the advert in the paper and said “if you don’t stop wallowing in the house all day watching Bargain Hunt and get a job we’re going to stop giving you money to buy Petits Filous (not a euphemism for drugs, just a delicious tiny yoghurt)”. I just don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t get this job; it means everything to me.”

“Err, right. That’s different. Most people just want 20% off Steak Bakes. By the way, where are your shoes?”

Pixie Lott sexy
X Factor people: not wearing any shoes while you sing doesn't make you look all 'tortured' and 'deep', it makes you look like A PRICK

You don’t get this bullshit with Pixie Lott. She found fame the old fashioned way: singing her little heart out throughout church school, stage school and the West End before bagging a recording contract.

Pixie Lott hot
CAPTION COMP: put a funny caption for this photo in the comments, we might give you something

She’s since had several Number One hits, a double platinum album, starred in a film and launched her own clothing line (Lipsy, from whence these photos came).

Pixie Lott leather
Giraffe was loving his new robotic limbs

Anyone heard from Steve Brookstein lately?