Pixie Lott doesn’t like being told she can’t do something. Presumably, this is why she is determined to crack every single profession that places an imperative on self-promotion. Bored with singing, dancing and fashion labelling, her most recent foray has been into the acting universe. Here’s hoping she doesn’t get swallowed by a black hole.

Pixie ventured out to promote the imaginatively titled Fred: The Movie, where she plays the girl next door (not literally, but that 'type'), who is subject to constant harassment from Fred, a horny young pest determined to get Pixie in the sack. We’d hate to give anything away, but we imagine he finally wears her down enough and she gives in. Either that or he resorts to Rohypnol. But that would make it an altogether different movie.


Pixie risked the ire of PETA by wearing a recently-skinned leopard

Her second film, Sweet Baby Jesus, is due for release in early 2011. Here, Pixie plays a pregnant girl called Mary who returns to Bethlehem (the Maryland one) in search of the father with whom the babe was concevied. If this has echoes of a certain biblical tale, we’re sure its entirely coincidental. We wouldn’t want the evangelists to get wind that Pixie was depicting their Holy Mother in such a blasphemous manner. Who knows what effigy they might burn.


It's either going to sweep the BAFTAs, or go straight to VHS. Anybody's guess...

So, it looks as if she’s got a potentially successful film career ahead of her. Providing Pixie doesn’t receive horrendously bad notices or get issued with a fatwa, there’s no conceivable reason why she couldn’t be up for an Oscar in a few years time. Now that Kate Winslet’s got out the way, she's only really left with Carey Mulligan and Keira Knightley as competition. And we reckon she'd take them both at mud wrestling any day.