Why is it that while British films come out at almost the same in the U.S. as they do here, when they make a film, we are kept waiting until most of its stars have lost control of their bowels due to the onset of old age? It's one of the most intriguing mysteries of the film industry, and we don't think we're being paranoid when we say they're probably doing it as a demonstration of military power. We are your allies, yeah, but don't go thinking that it means we got the same privileges, boy. Do ya git me? And we saved yo' hides in the war. Or something like that.
Yes, platoon commander, we get you. Having already had an Empire far larger than yours will ever be (especially with the Chinese on your tail), we have nothing left to prove. Except that on a Saturday night we can drink fifteen pints, get glassed, pull a twenty-stone girl and still retain our sense of English gentility. Anyway, to the purpose of this tirade. Morning Glory, the world premiere of which took place last night in New York, will not be released here until January 2011. Most of the time we wouldn't care, but this seems like a rarity: A Hollywood film that actually looks watchable.
And that's not only because it stars the very lovely Rachel McAdams. It's also got the not quite as lovely, but still rather funny Jeff Goldblum in it. Which is reassuring, because it is supposed to be a comedy, after all. Spookily, it's about a television producer who is given the task of reviving a flailing morning news show called, wait for it, "Daybreak". We thought all that psychic stuff was a load of nonsense until we came across this. Now we're terrified every time we lose our keys and they turn up next to a photograph of a dead relative.
Presumably, Rachel is the best substitute they could find for Christine Bleakley. Well, she is Canadian. We don't know what that has to do with anything, but then again, Christine is Irish, and they are sort of the closest Atlantic neighbours if you think about it, laterally at least. And Jeff Goldblum as Adrian Chiles? Well, that needs no explanation whatsoever.