Comedy: a six-letter word containing four consonants and two vowels. The downside? It’s probably not long enough to see you win a round on Countdown. The upside? It is definitely enough to turn the head of Countdown cutie Rachel Riley.

The young, fit, blonde replacement for Carol Vorderman showed her love of stand-up by donning a saucy frock and hot-footing it to this week’s Chortle Awards.

The evening’s big winners included Victoria Wood and Richard Herring, but given if you weren’t there, you probably don’t care, we’ll stop going on about them and get back to the subject that is at the forefront of your cerebellum. Namely: how to unlock the conundrum that is Rachel’s heart.

"I'll have a vowel and your phone number, please Rachel"

Well, like we say, a sense of humour will help, as will being in your 20s (Rachel’s just turned 25). Also on the tick list are ‘possessing an egg-head’ and 'being a red-head’. Calm down, gingers, we’re not talking about her follicular preference, we’re talking about the fact she’s a lifelong Manchester United fan and current season ticket holder.

“I’m such a huge fan of the players, my legs were shaking when I met them,” she admitted, after making a documentary about the club’s training ground. “I’d only just got used to speaking to Rio Ferdinand and Ryan Giggs when Ole Gunnar Solskjaer came over. He was my favourite player when I was young, so I got really nervous again.”

Hold the bus! Solskjaer! Her favourite player! Better add ‘being baby-faced’ to the list of keys to unlocking her heart, lads. Oh, and ‘voting for her in FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women in the World 2011’, obviously.

Even Sign's tongue was hanging out