Both Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker are in a film called Battleship. It’s based on the board game. We’re not even kidding.
Here are five things we love about the above trailer:
1. Brooklyn Decker! Brooklyn Decker, aside from having a name like a cyberpunk netwarrior, is gorgeous. She’s using her talents to the fullest extent possible in this film, by wearing a bikini top and hot pants and generally being lovely all over the shop.
2. Rihanna! She’s in it, we assure you. Swear to God. She’s the minigunner on the scout ship that discovers the alien vehicle. Honest. Why isn’t she in a bikini? We don’t know. We’re seeing if we can’t get her in one for the final cut. Right now, we’re feeling a bit cheated.
3. Liam Neeson! Not in a bikini (thankfully) but still awesome, Mr Neeson throws caution to the wind and steps outside of his usual repertoire by playing an angry, over-protective father with links to the military.
4. It’s based on a board game! Like the 'adaptation' of Cluedo back in the 80's, this film is literally based on a bloody board game. Like, the one where you insert pegs into a board and attempt to sink another player’s battleship and then say “You sunk my battleship!” and die a little inside.
They’ve thrown in some aliens (aliens who fire peg-like missiles, natch), and a romantic sub-plot, apparently, so we’re not sure how 'based' on the game this film actually is. Prepare yourselves for another article closer to release, though, when we postulate about over board game adaptations, such as Hungry Hippos in the vein of Predator and Snakes & Ladders in the style of West Side Story.
5. “Prepare to fire".
“Sir. Which weapons?”
“... All of them.”
Battleship is due for UK release on 20 April 2012, which should just give us enough time to push our Da Vinci Code-esque retelling of Scrabble through post-production before it comes out