Hey, you want to buy some some underwear? Sure you do. Everyone needs underwear. Old people, young people, beautiful people, ugly people – they all need jeans. Hell, even Rihanna needs underwear.

Does your girlfriend have enough underwear? No way. No one has enough. Even if she wakes up in the morning under a blanket of thongs, kicks piles of french knickers out of the way to the shower and then dries herself off with a comfortable and absorbent bra, they don't have enough. Armani knows that.

Rihanna for Armani underwear
Armani knows a lot about you

Which is why Armani hired third sexiest woman in the world Rihanna to sell their underwear for them – not on a stall in the market, don't be daft, in adverts – because they know that there's a lot of underwear out there. To the uninitiated eye, all that underwear might look almost identical. They are, indeed, tremendously similar. Some might say there's very little difference between even the leading brands. But Armani know that for you to be truly happy, it's their underwear that you should buy for your significant other.

Rihanna's writhing about in a car, wearing the underwear and not a lot else. The pictures say – “Hey, we know you like Rihanna. We know you think she's sexy. Maybe sexier than your girlfriend. That's all right. She's Rihanna. You're only human.

Rihanna for Armani underwear
Unlike Rihanna, of course, who's probably some kind of bondage elf

Who knows, maybe if you purchased our underwear – for your girlfriend of course - you could somehow establish a connection with Rihanna. Be closer to her. Maybe even meet her, whisk her away to some white sandy beaches, go dancing under the moonlight, win a speedboat race – we're not guaranteeing anything, of course. But it is possible.”

Anything's possible. So when – not if – you decide to buy new underwear, buy Armani. Because Rihanna might get off with you if you do.