Country and Western music, along with baseball, corn dogs and executing grown men with the intelligence of a child, is something that’s wildly popular in America but never really caught on over here. In the states, it’s a hell of a thing – it even has its own award ceremony.

Well, we assume it has several award ceremonies, but this seems to be the big one – the Academy of Country Music awards, which happened this weekend. We assume it’s big because Caribbean starlet Rihanna was singing at it.

Brooklyn Decker has nothing to do with country music. We don't mind

Really, Country and Western? Your headliner is a famous R&B-slash-pop singer? Those are your enemy genres! Your competitors! Sure, maybe you can write it off as “coming together and broadening your focus” but to hell with that, it smacks of complacency to us.

Taylor Swift at the Academy Country music awards 
Taylor Swift's dress is in fact made from three dresses

Anyway, enough bile.  We never really saw the appeal of Country music. Maybe you need to be drinking a can of cheap watery “beer,” smoking a Marlboro by the campfire and lamenting over how your baby left you for your best friend’s dog in a pick-up truck, or something. Without all that, it’s a pretty shoddy genre all round.

Rihanna at the Academy Country music awards
Rihanna's new giant keys were much harder to lose than her old ones

Shall we be honest with you? The real reason we decided to tell you about the 46th Annual Academy of Country Music awards is because there were some other really good-looking women there – namely Taylor Swift (country singer, of Interrupted-by-Kayne-West-fame) and Brooklyn Decker (not a singer, but who wears underwear for a living). So that’s nice. Why not take a look at them?