Rihanna’s made a spectacular move in this year’s 100 Sexiest poll, powering up to third place behind buxom songstress Katy Perry and Statham-dating sexpot Rosie Huntington Whiteley from #43 last year. But what’s she done to deserve such a tremendous upgrade?
We’re going to examine what she’s done over the past year in this article. To stop you all from falling asleep, it’s also got some pictures of the Barbados-based beauty going shopping for stuff and looking really hot, as usual. And a bit grumpy.
Fun fact: Rihanna's entire family can fit in her bag. it's how she saves money on airfare
It all kicked off this time last year when Rihanna appaeared live on stage (she does that a lot, actually, you’ll notice that a pattern soon emerges) at the Radio One Big Weekend looking like the sexiest punk you ever did see.
Continuing the punk theme, she played electric guitar in a PVC catsuit in July (fulfilling an awful lot of 80’s teenage fantasies) and then, just as we think a pattern’s emerging, BAM. She switches it up in the video for What’s My Name by dressing up like a foxy referee with no trousers on.
We’re thrown off guard and she’s working her way, slowly but sexily, in our hearts. In a sort of freaky, do-weird-stuff-in-the-bedroom kind of way. But when she announces a duet with then-Sexiest Woman in the World Cheryl Cole, it comes as a bit of a surprise. But she’s cannily playing the numbers, and sure enough, some of Cheryl’s geordie hotness rubs off on her.*
Grumble grumble I'm only the 3rd Sexiest woman in the world mutter grumble
She goes on to flog some perfume whilst emerging sexily from a giant flower and released the tremendously sexy video for S&M which has more innuendo in it than most Carry On films.
And on the downside, she got a daft afro and fried an egg on her arse.
But it clearly all worked out nearly almost as well as is humanly possible, because she’s taken the bronze medal in the Olympics of hotness. Good work, Rihanna.
*We wrote that sentence and were about to change it because it sounds kind of dirty. But you know, when it comes to Cheryl Cole and Rihanna, we’re actually going to let it slide, because it later turned out that they fancy each other