Robyn Rihanna Fenty has red hair and is wearing a stripey jacket, tremendously large earrings and some multi-coloured hot pants in the video for her new single What’s My Name?. We know because we looked at this picture of the Barbadian doing some filming in New York:

Look at her hair. Hot like jalapenos. Look at her legs. Spread like butter. Look at her jewellery. Shiny like a bruise. Look at her eyes. Dangerous like riding a Segway scooter near a cliff edge. With those peepers she’s saying: “Yes, I have one drumstick. But you know what? I would like two drumsticks.” And then this happened:

Conclusion one: give the 22-year-old what she wants and she will dance for you.

Now we know a thing or two about science. And we know that to verify the results of an experiment to test they weren’t a fluke and, ultimately, establish a scientific fact, we need to repeat it. This is how we worked out that HP definitely is nicer than tomato ketchup in a sausage sandwich and that you definitely can use mustard as a condiment with roast dinners other than roast beef because it still enhances the flavour of the vegetables. Look at this picture:

This time Rihanna’s eyes are saying: “I’m having a nice time, but if a lady with a black dress and brown hair was playing the bongos behind me I’d be having a much better time.” And then this happened:

Conclusion two: give the 22-year-old what she wants and she will dance for you.

Excuse us, we need to give Stephen Hawking a call.


1/ Rihanna gets a lap dance from a midget
2/ Megan Fox is in a music video with Rihanna
3/ Rihanna sex tape leaked online