Rihanna, as far as we can tell, is officially hitting Bad Girl status. In one week, she's blown £1000 (in a matter of minutes) on sex toys in Paris, visited a cannabis cafe in Holland, and come under some pretty serious fire from women's rights groups for her new video We Found Love. They say that's it's glamourising domestic violence. What it mainly glamourises is the act of puking ribbons1. In case you've not seen the video, it's above.
And on top of all that, Metro are saying that she likes girls – a significant part of that cool grand she blew on erotic supplies went towards a tasteful art book of ladies having at each other with whips and paddles in a sexy fashion whilst not wearing much at all. Like in that song what she did.
Plus, she's got ESP! But you won't read that in the mainstream media, OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE
It's called Omahyru & Boyd, and rather than being standard porn that you might find on the internet or the top shelf of a newsagent, it's in hardback so it's art. That's the distinction, right? We wouldn't have called it Omahryu and Boyd, though. That makes it sound like a bad legal company. No-one's gonna buy that. Sexy Fun Pain Time Ahoy might have been better, or Watch Out Here Come The Arty Lesbians.
So, is Rihanna stoned, gay and endorsing domestic violence? Even with all this evidence, we're gonna have to say NO. But she is definitely bad, in a good way.
1 Last time we puked ribbons, it was nowhere near as glamorous. It was part of a short-lived FHM magic routine and we had to go to HOSPITAL covered in SICKY RIBBONS