They say (and and by “they” we mean “The French”, so take this with a pinch of salt) that Absinthe, ruiner of ten thousand birthday parties, stealer of eyesight, and deliverer of cracking headaches the next morning is personified as The Green Fairy.

The Green Fairy visits poets, artists and writers but only when they’ve ingested enough of the vicious green spirit, and lends them great insight and creativity.

This is why the French are clearly nuts. Everyone knows that drinking Absinthe doesn’t make you more creative at all. It makes you pissed. It might make you more creative in a “I wonder if I can get to the bathroom without moving any of the muscles in my legs so I can throw up” sort of way, but not in the “produce brilliant works of art” sort of way.

Selena hoped no-one would notice she was wearing three dresses at once

On an entirely related note, Selena Gomez went to Perez Hilton’s birthday party on Saturday night, and looked great. Also she looked like a blue fairy. 

Perez is a chap who writes celebrity gossip and is apparently pretty good at it, and he looks like US comedian Carrot Top in a high wind. Seriously. He’s not nice to look at. There are pictures of the pair of them taken but we decided not to show you as his face is quite literally upsetting.

So if Absinthe contains the Green Fairy, then Selena must live in bottles of Blue Curacao. Legend has it that if you drink enough Blue Curacao (and hats off to you if you do) then Selena will visit you and, uh, give you acting and singing lessons. Have a go this weekend, and write in and tell us what advice she gave you. Bear in mind you’ll need to drink at least a bottle of the stuff before she’ll even think of turning up.