On one hand, we had moderately brilliant sun this week. In celeb land, there has been loads of gorgeous women hanging out on the beach – like one Selena Gomez.

Yes, she’s still with Justin Beiber, in case you were wondering. Yea, it’s pretty annoying, isn’t it. Well, if it’s any consolation, she probably hates his music as much as everybody else.

We’re aware this piece of carefully scripted reportage could quickly turn into a Beiber hatefest, and we don’t want to do that. Y’no, even if he is a bit jammy, we want to focus on Selena.

 Selena Gomez purple bikini
She really puts the sea in Sea-leana Gomez... sorry

So, Selena was on the beach, probably picking up a shell and holding it to her ear, only to remark that she could hear the ocean inside (why is that exactly?). Then, she hung out on a boat with her boyfriend.

Which led us to wonder. Why do celebrities hang out on boats? Oh yea, it’s a great day, I’m going to go and sail in the middle of the water (where there might be sharks and squids and stuff) and just like, spend the afternoon there.

Selena Gomez purple bikini beach
Duh duh, duh duh, duh duh (we're humming the Jaws theme)

Firstly, there’s the issue of what to do when you get there. Fish? Hardly. Go scuba diving? Not with all the sharks around, you muppet. Watch telly, listen to your generic Mp3-playing device or just ‘hang out’? DO IT ON LAND!

Also, wouldn’t it be the most frustrating thing in the world if you went all the way out to the ocean and you were like, ‘Did you bring the ham for the sandwiches?’ and your mate was like, ‘No, you were supposed to bring the ham’ and you’re both just thinking, ‘SHIT. No ham.’

It is a very real possibility.