Shakira’s been on the UK leg of her European tour over the past week. She’s done Manchester and Glasgow, and even had time to fly over and see our Irish friends in Dublin and Belfast. Naturally, she received a rapturous welcome in every venue. The only hiccup was in Manchester, where an ill-advised rendition of Waka Waka almost caused a riot (World Cup fans thought she was rubbing it in).

Yesterday, she took to the O2 arena, which is rather a large stadium. Shakira, at 5’ 2”, is rather a small person. To accommodate this discrepancy, fans from row B onwards were provided with binoculars (like those ones you used to get in theatres and had to pay 50p for but they’re all gone now because nobody ever returned them).


Evidently, she was singing with more than a modicum of gusto, providing wonderful images like the one above. If you missed yesterday’s concert, you’ve blown it for good, because that was the last one. She’s back off to Colombia now, the land of strict drug control and upstanding law enforcement, so who knows when she’ll back to our lawless, schismatic Isle.


There is only one good thing about Shakira’s departure. No more live Waka Wakas. This song should be banned indefinitely from being played on any aural medium. If you do hear it, please inform the relevant authorities, and you’ll have a good case for the offending party to be prosecuted for treason. Oh, well. It’s time to now forget disastrous 2010. At least we can look forward to Soviet Republic 2018.