Katy Perry and Sofia Vergara are both fantastically attractive. That’s not just a random observation, you understand. That would be pointless. And easy. We could make loads of those.
Steak is tastier than spam.
Hugs feel nice.
Oxygen is important.
Dolphins are better than pandas at swimming.
Dinner is good.
Facebook is popular.
Having a cold in the middle of summer really sucks.
But, yeah, like we said, that Katy Perry and Sofia Vergara being hot observation isn’t random. It’s RELEVANT. How is it relevant? This is how:
They’re both in a new film about the Smurfs called, imaginatively, The Smurfs.
Katy Perry plays Smurfette. Smurfette, in case you don’t recall, is the attractive little blonde one. Well, as hot as a little blue spritey-thing that looks exactly the same as all the male Smurfs just with long blonde hair can be, of course.
"Boom yeah I'm Smurfette"
Until Sassette Smurfling came along, Smurfette was the only female Smurf in the whole village. Sassette’s arrival was probably a day of quite mixed emotions for Smurfette. On the one blue hand, she’d have thought “hooray, at last I’ve got another girl to watch Desperate Smurfwives with while painting our nails blue”. But, on the other blue hand, she might have felt a bit threatened, having grown accustomed to being the object of every male Smurf’s desires. She’d have probably started dressing a bit sluttier and lying about her age.
Anyway, Smurfette is quite a big role, so well done Katy Perry.
Sofia Vergara plays Odile.
Yeah, we’ve got no smurfing idea. Apparently she’s a new character. An executive at a French cosmetics company who is the boss of Patrick. Right, yeah, even if we had the foggiest idea who Patrick was - which we don't - that still hardly sounds like a plum role. What are you playing at, Papa Smurf? Don’t you know who Sofia Vergara is? We’re not sure Sofia Vergara will be happy about this, y’know.