So, this week is London Fashion Week, which explains why the tube in the capital has been more packed than usual with people who look like they decided what to wear by asking a 1980s school bully what would be most likely to earn someone a good kicking. Curiously, it's apparently also Milan fashion week. Bloody fashion is taking over the world. Anyway, Milan fashion week had this:

And this:

And this

London Fashion Week had this:

Oh well done, Milan. Very clever. You win again. Strutting around with your sexy women in bikinis and your warmer weather, being all sophisticated and stuff. Well, don't get too cocky, Milan. We do lots of things better than you. Like The Inbetweeners. And This Is England '86. And cheese. And Kelly Brook. And carrying on with picnics even when it's a bit rainy because you WILL NOT accept that summer has ended in July. Not laughing now, are you Milan? Fine, you are.