This just in: someone actually disapproves of Katy Perry’s breasts. The second shocking revelation is that it’s her mum.

Maybe it’s not such a huge surprise, actually, as her mum – Mary Hudson - is a fairly religious type from back in the good old US of A, and she’s not really okay with Katy flashing her goods all over the place and encouraging catchy lipstick lesbianism.

She’s selling a book which goes into detail about how her daughter’s stage presence has affected her efforts to spread the word of the Lord across America. It doesn’t seem she approves of Katy’s costumes:

“Katy stepped out from behind the changing doors in a tiny risqué costume. No mother wants to see the top of her daughter’s boobs... My first instinct was to order her back behind those doors and demand she put something else on.”

Katy Perry's Breasts; also pictured, Katy Perry
Katy Perry's Breasts; also pictured, Katy Perry

Damnit, Mrs Hudson! Don’t even think about asking Katy to cover up. We don’t want to swear in front of you, but there are few things better than Katy Perry dancing around in some ridiculous get-up. Next on the list were her daughter’s Sapphic pursuits with I Kissed A Girl:

“I recognized the psalmist gift in her performance. Yet she sang out, ‘I kissed a girl, and I liked it,’ while thousands joined her. One part of my heart soared... the other part broke for the thousands of hungry souls being fed something that didn’t nourish their spirit, but fed their flesh.”

Maybe sometimes our flesh needs feeding, Mrs Hudson. Maybe our flesh is hungry. Hungry for your daughter. There, we said it.