Seriously, it doesn’t add up. Sophie Turner is one of those rare women who bypass the advanced, rational thought processes of your brain and instead go straight for the instinctive regions which we stopped using years ago. Right about the time that hunting for meat was replaced with popping down to Tesco’s for a ready meal for one.

Most women leave the delicate process of evolution intact, and you can think – “Hey, do I fancy this woman? Should I go and talk to her?” But Sophie casts aside your ridiculous notions of civilisation and sears straight past your neocortex, burning her image into the dark, musty parts of your brain that we still share with our evolutionary ancestors.

Sophie Turner wearing a tight dress
Bet you didn't think you'd see words like "neocortex" being thrown around in this article, did you

She’s like the women off pinball machines, or in 1950’s advertisements who encouraged people to damn things, usually torpedoes and the like. She’s like some sort of experiment, maybe, by a mad scientist who was trying to control the hips of men for nefarious purposes.

She’s a model, by the way, and she’s Australian. She was photographed after going out for dinner, or something. She was on a show called Search for a Supermodel, which we would perhaps like to be involved with at some point in the judging stage, if that’s at all possible. I mean, we write for FHM. We’ve got experience, surely? Call us.

Sophie Turner wearing a tight dress
Or come visit, we're easy

She is also the second Australian in two days on this website to deal with an aggressive lizard brain. See what we did there? It’s not like we went off and researched the human brain just to set up a bad pun. No way.