You're probably asking yourself just what were The Saturdays doing in that God-forsaken region of comical accents, also fondly known as the Midlands? As already established, the only saving grace of the entire area is a cracking Punjabi restaurant halfway between Ladywood and Sparkbrook, positioned directly in between Greggs and KFC in a triumvirate of culinary ecstasy.

Well, in answer to your aforementioned query, they were performing at BRMB Live 2010 at the LG Arena. BRMB is the radio-station equivalent to Capital FM in London; insufferable jingles, terrible music and idiotic presenters all abound.

Una Healy won the catfight as to who was going to sing solo

Here's a bit of Una Healy for you. We're not partisan, we love the others all equally. Honest. But we had to make an executive decision, and on this day, we were feeling Una. On another day, we'll be feeling Frankie. We can't explain why this happens, but we have a suspicion it has something to do with the lunar cycles.

The Saturdays, doing what they do best, on a Saturday. We know, appalling

Head count (it's something to do): Mollie King, Una Healy, Rochelle Wiseman, Vanessa White and Frankie Sandford. All present and accounted for. Don't you think Rochelle and Frankie are looking remarkably well, despite their recent split from their respective boyband boyfriends? It never lasts, that inter singing-group dating thing. Their lives are too similar, the circle too small.

We think they'd be much better off dating regular guys like us, who'd be happy to take up lifelong domestic slavehood for any one of them. And, not having the constant opportunity to copulate with nubile, gyrating groupies at every turn, we probably wouldn't stray either. Think about it, girls.