The Saturdays went to Alton Towers yesterday. We like Alton Towers here at FHM.
We casually asked FHM 'person' Chris Mandle if he likes Alton Towers and he pretty much combusted with glee:
“Once, we rented a car with our mate Geordie Mike, got up at 4.30am, drove from Newcastle to Staffordshire and got to Alton Towers at 9am. We weren’t quite first in the queue, but we weren’t far off. It was really sunny so we were wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Not flip flops, though – you should NEVER wear flip flops to Alton Towers because they’re just going to fall off, aren’t they? Especially if they’re those ‘thong’ flip flops that dissect the gap between your big toe and the toe next to it (what is that toe called?). Whatever it’s called, those bad boys are going to fall right off.
"We went to the back of the park first because everyone else is at the front of the park which means there’s no queues at the back of the park where you are, especially if you run to the back of the park really fast as soon as you get through the gates which definitely isn’t sad no matter what you say.
Never hot-wash a leather jacket
"We didn’t waste any time on pirate ships and things like that because it’s pointless queuing up for a pirate ship when it’s a bit shit really because it just swings back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and you have to look at some random stranger because of the way the seats are laid out so you’re basically just swinging back and forth looking at someone else swinging back and forth when you could be on a proper rollercoaster or queuing up to go on a proper rollercoaster.
"The only slightly bad thing about Alton Towers is that there’s not much culinary choice; it’s pretty much just KFC, Burger King and Dubious Hot Dog Stalls but it doesn’t really matter – you’re not there for fine dining, you’re there for the rollercoasters and the fun."
The Saturdays were there performing at Alton Towers Live. Chris Mandle is not a fan of this:
"It's not what Alton Towers is about. It's ridiculous. They're trying to promote Alton Towers in the middle of summer when it already gets the most attention. Ridiculous."