The hottest topic in Britain right now, on this sweltering hot day, is not failing hospitals, fighting in Egypt, or angry Orange men. No - it’s the underbutt bum cleavage epidemic sweeping the nation.

As epidemics go, compared with the likes of the norovirus and avian flu, this outbreak is more welcome than most.

No one is yet projectile vomiting, or phoning NHS Direct while clinging desperately to life. Instead, the epidemic's only symptom is a hell of a lot of girls wearing very short shorts, showing off around 20% of their bottoms.

Nothing lewd you understand (no chocolate starfishes). Just a glimpse of wobbling buttock pleasantly peeking out from under some denim cut-offs.

However, loftier publications - the type which feature sandals that cost more than your mum’s second-hand Fiesta – are claiming this flaunting of anal cleavage is a bad thing. They are calling for it to be banished forever.

Here at FHM we say, NO. And when we say it, it’s pretty loud, and it almost sounds kinda menacing.

We’re fully behind consenting adults revealing their buttocks in public. It's what our forefathers fought for in the Great Wars. Well, that and freedom from the threat of military fascism – but you can bet, in the backs of their minds in the filth of the trenches, they were doing it partly for beautiful girls in tiny cut-offs.

After all, people move to Britain from all over the world for exactly this: freedom of speech, clean running water, a fantastic free health service and the right to get you arse out when it’s pushing 30 degrees.

But, readers what do you think? Is bum cleavage really a no-no? Cast your vote below.



WORDS: Joe Barnes