Victoria Justice, ex-Nickelodeon product and current sexy young songstress, was hosting the Max Azaria Prom Contest awards this week, and she brought her fantastic legs with her.
Admittedly, if she hadn’t brought them with her, that would have been an even bigger story. “Victoria Justice amputates own legs to host awards show!” It’s a horrible image and it doesn’t bare thinking about. Move on.
Just lopped 'em off with a buzzsaw, quick as a flash
So what’s the contest all about, then? There’s some sort of challenge, we think, that young girls must undertake and then whoever is best at that challenge wins a prom dress of their choosing to get all gussied up in. It seems a bit cheap to only offer one.
Maybe they spent all the money on hiring Victoria Justice (who’s been on the front of Seventeen Prom, an American magazine inexplicably devoted to going a dance that you’ll be able to attend probably twice in your life maximum). How many prom dresses does she cost, do you reckon?
At least three. Or maybe two and a ham sandwich
We went to a Prom, back in the day. A real American one and all. We’re not going to go into details, but it was rubbish and most of the other blokes weren’t even wearing proper shirts, just clip-on shirt-fronts and clip-on bow ties.
We all stood around in these shoddy cobbled-together suits and ludicrously fancy dresses and then awkwardly danced to Ms New Booty by Bubba Sparxxx.
We couldn't even get a bloody drink
Have you heard of that song? Probably not. In case you haven’t, and in case you’re getting bored of us wittering on about going to America, here’s internet legend Shay Maria dancing to it.
Gosh! Right. Anyway. Focus. So Victoria Justice was something or other with legs maybe and excuse us we’re just going to watch that video again you can show yourselves out