The above, dear reader, is a “behind the scenes” video of the We Love Push-ups bikini video that Victoria’s Secret released, recently, starring Candice Swanepoel. We made sure to tell you about it the second we heard, pouncing on the fresh news like a hawk snatching a terrified mouse from an idyllic autumn field.

It unveils some of the tricks that professional cameramen and women use to make their shoots look as good as possible. For instance, if you look at the original video, you’ll see that Candice is continually dripping wet in a sort of shimmering, sexy way. How do they pull that off?

Behind the scenes with Candice Swanepoel

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is someone’s job to do that. It is the actual paid job of a human being to hold a pot of water over Candice Swanepoel and pour it over her so she looks as sexy as possible. This is possibly the best job in the world.

Don’t get us wrong, we love our jobs – we get to look at beautiful women all day and then write nonsense about them, who wouldn’t love that? – but we might well consider trading it in to be the man who gets to professionally moisten Candice Swanepoel.

Behind the scenes with Candice Swanepoel
This guy. This guy right here

Maybe he doesn’t just do it on photoshoots. Maybe it’s across the board, so he’s in charge of showers and things too. That’s okay, we can adapt to that. We relish responsibility and challenge at work, so being asked to suddenly wash a supermodel is no problem for us. We’re just great like that.

Later on in the video, his job is shared out amongst the crew (of course, we’d never let that happen, we can manage our workload effectively CALL US CANDICE) as they all splash water on her and have a jolly good old laugh. Ho ho ho.

Behind the scenes with Candice Swanepoel
Ho ho ho CALL US

But, uh, yeah. If for some reason your current moistener is killed in a horrific car crash (NOT involving a men’s mag journo NO MATTER what you heard) then give us a call. We can work evenings and weekends if you want. We’re devoted to seeing this job through.