Maria Fowler looks a bit tipsy. She also looks like quite a lot of fun when she’s a bit tipsy. You know, not quite moving in a straight line, and with the high heels probably not helping the sensible walking technique too much. Perhaps she’s in that wonderful rather tipsy and talkative stage where she’s happy to be sharing all sorts of information about her fine self. Namely the new thing that she’s got on her leg. And naturally, that’s A-OK with us, cos we are very interested in this sort of thing. Professional interest and all that.

See, when you are a glamour model and Page 3 Girl etc, you probably aren’t too shy anymore about how you look. And hey, if there’s something interesting on your thigh, might as well let the press and whoever else’s interested know, right? Yeah, course you should!

And we guess the other cool thing about this modelling jazz is the clothing you get to wear. You can pull off get ups that actually look like a collection of folded tea towels with wavy edges. Somehow. And with said flimsy cloth contraptions you can easily display what you’ve got going on your leg. Which is what we want to know, and which is what Maria has been doing. And now we want to show you what she showed everybody else. On a street…

Maria Fowler reveals leg design

There you go. Not a big deal really, is it? What’s all the fuss about anyway? It looks a bit like an Ordnance Survey of the Hebrides. No doubt a lot of sweaty tabloid blogger types, sequestered away in dark rooms have been all excited, but we’re just a bit disappointed really. We really think it could have been a bit bigger or more audacious. We can hardly see it!

You are gonna have to do more than that to satisfy FHM and its readers, Maria. Maybe try a facial tattoo or something. Or clothes that glow in the dark. Or something with dragons on it. Nice hair, though.