Fifteen years ago, waking up to next to Pamela Anderson would’ve been considered the best thing that can possibly happen to anyone by at least 24 people. These days it’s probably more like six, because everyone knows that Pamela Anderson contracted Hepatitis C from Tommy Lee and that is well gross. Still, it hasn’t stopped some bright spark from coming up with an iPhone app that you can use an an alarm clock and features the ex-Baywatch star rolling around semi-naked with a bedsheet over her saying things like “good morning”, “hello”, “wake up”, “sweetie”, “are you gonna get up?” and then something really muffled about “panties” and a “frozen waffle”. As good ideas go, this is in the same league as a Lady Gaga sex doll. PLEASE CAN SOMEONE SEND US ONE IMMEDIATELY. Sorry, we lost our composure there for a second. We won't let it happen again. Here’s our address:

Endeavour House
189 Shaftesbury Avenue

A really good picture of Pamela Anderson from the olden days: