Use gentle strokes. Rough does not equal pleasurable in massage. Take your time and vary your strokes, occasionally just using fingertips.
Ask her what she’s enjoying. She might want more or less pressure, or for you to stop wheezing in her ear. Always maintain contact. A good massage should feel seamless. If you’re replenishing your oil, keep one hand on her.
Setting The Scene
“The most important thing is making sure the room’s nice and warm,” says Amanda Worthington of tantric masseurs Pearl London (pearllondon.co.uk).
“You want her to feel relaxed. Put down some towels to absorb the massage oil. Use gentle lighting – candles or sidelights – as it’ll be more flattering.”
“A relaxing way to start is with a foot massage,” says Amanda. “A good foot massage will instantly relax her and make her forget all her troubles. Work gently but firmly along the sole.”
“You don’t need to spend long there, but even a few minutes will make a difference.”
“Move up the legs in long, smooth strokes, using the full surface of your palm and keeping your fingers together. The purpose of sensual massage is to build excitement, so stroke over her buttocks.”
“You could at this point stroke gently down between her legs and gently excite her with your fingers. It’s very important to always maintain a very gentle touch.”
“Use the same long strokes up the length of her back and shoulders. A lot of women really like when you play with their ears or their neck. So you could blow gently onto her ears or neck.”
“You could also use your tongue, but only a little bit.” Don’t slobber all over her like a bulldog on a dropped ice cream – she will not like this.
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“No matter what any woman says, she’s probably a little paranoid about her stomach so it’s much better to start with her face down, but you can turn her over once she feels relaxed.”
“Once she’s on her back, stroke the outside of her breasts in a long figure of eight.” continues Amanda. “She may also enjoy it if you blow gently across her nipples.”
That’s a posh tantric word for vagina. You should switch to a sexual lubricant rather than massage oil for this part. “When she’s still lying on her tummy, move your hand down between her legs and stroke down to the labia. That’s an extremely sensual experience.”
“When she’s on her back, use one hand, but simultaneously with the other hand stroke her legs and her thighs.”
You’ve already done enough to be excused taking the bins out for at least a month, but this final step will put your name in the history books. “Massage her clitoris, using a soft stroke. Then massage her G-spot, while she’s on her back by inserting your middle finger into her, with a sort of ‘come here’ gesture.”
“You’re looking for a spot that’s quite spongey, just under the pubic bone and behind the clitoris. Reactions when you touch that spot can be quite different. She may even feel the urge to urinate or feel discomfort. But after a bit of gentle massage she should feel great pleasure.”