Unless you were abducted by aliens and kept imprisoned on an orbiting death ship for the last six months, whilst being anally probed and tortured, only to return to Earth a shell of your former self and labeled a crazy man for talking about the impending attack of the fleshless alien-monsters from the planet Omega-X... then you will know that the World Cup starts today.

A World Cup means celebration, celebration means music and in South Africa yesterday music meant Shakira. The woman is a booty-shaking goddess. It's quite possible that her hips are completely independent from her body, which spontaneously thrust and writhe to any beat imaginable. Seriously, you could hit a log with a spoon and Shakira could dance to the rhythm like a cobra on speed. But sexier.

Shakira wore a grass skirt and a skinned zebra especially for the occasion. 


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