Rachel Uchitel, the first woman to confess to sex with Tiger Woods – before it became some sort of big fad that everyone was doing –, is going to be posing for Playboy, it was completely unshockingly revealed today.

 

Rachel, who works as a nightclub manager when not taking delivery of celebrity penis, will apparently be participating in a shoot in three weeks time. She won't be bearing all, just her boobs and her bum, because she's a classy lady.

Rachel Uchitel isn't especially attractive. She has a great body but her face looks kind of like an elbow with lipstick on it. Why do sportsmen always cheat on their wives with significantly less attractive women? It's like having perfectly good steak at home but going out for a burger, and then having sex with it.