You asked and we gave. Ever since ‘Bridge/Terrygate’ broke you’ve, somewhat unpatriotically, been clamouring for Vanessa Perroncel, the 34-year-old French swimwear model at the centre of the scandal who threatened to ruin England’s World Cup campaign. But in the end, we managed to do that quite comfortably without her.

The furore that saw John Terry fired as England’s captain and prompted Wayne Bridge to cross his ex-Chelsea teammate off his list of ‘people he’d invite to Nando’s’. So here she is, in her finery, recovering from being savaged by the tabloids over an alleged affair with Terry. Yes: alleged. Every single thing that was written was merely alleged. So cast aside your preconceptions, while VP strips off and sets the record straight.

He was my friend,” she states, her skin shining with the residue of baby oil from the shoot. “I’d known him for eight years. I split up from Wayne and he was there for me. I said it wasn’t true, but no one wanted to know. I was supposed to have had sex with him five times a week. It’s just horrid.”

Yes, you read that correctly. Despite the court order almost preventing the story coming out, despite Bridge ignoring Terry’s outstretched hand and refusing to play in the same England team as him, Perroncel’s denying anything went on whatsoever, and is fighting back by suing the papers who made the allegations.

“I’ve sued loads of them,” she reveals. “Six in total, all for breach of privacy and defamation.” She calls them “sharks” and “morally and emotionally bankrupt”, which seems fair enough when you revisit headlines like ‘JT girl’s flings with 5 Chelsea stars’ (The Sun) and ‘Vanessa Perroncel is a she-devil in John Terry’s dirty game’ (Daily Mirror).

“They came down on me like vultures,” continues the girl who lives in leafy Surrey with her and Bridge’s three-year-old son Jaydon Jean Claude. “They started saying that John paid me. I never got a penny from him. But they want to believe that I’m a gold digger.” She adds: “If some dumb arses are stupid enough to believe all these lies, then, whatever. I can’t be bothered with those people. You just have to prove them wrong, I guess.”

So now, while Wayne Bridge chooses between the BBC and ITV and John Terry takes orders from Steven Gerrard, Perroncel is fighting back by doing what she’s does best. Namely: looking very hot while wearing not very much. “FHM is a lovely magazine,” says the girl who was discovered in Paris, age 14. “You make the girls look amazing, so I wanted to shoot for you. ” And who are we to argue? We worked our amazing magic yet again, god bless baby oil.